Step one

A vivid memory I had from my childhood was when I had a major fear of ghosts. I can’t remember exactly how old I was – probably about 10 years old. I was petrified of the Bloody Mary ghost. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you’re lucky. But this story won’t really make sense if you don’t know who Bloody Mary is. Basically, Bloody Mary was a ghost that you could summon (if you were brave enough of course). Summoning Bloody Mary involves staring at a mirror and saying Bloody Mary three times in a row. Technically, you should be in a dark room with candles lit, but we didn’t have these luxuries in my elementary school bathroom. In school, all the cool kids would go to the bathroom and summon Bloody Mary. I would join them (of course) because I didn’t want to seem like a loser… but you better believe that I would stand in the back corner with my eyes closed and my ears blocked every time a brave 10-year-old stepped up to the mirror and said “Bloody Mary”. This fear got so bad, I nearly had a heart attack anytime I had to go to the bathroom or anytime I saw a mirror. I remember holding in my pee for hours at a time because I was too scared to go to the bathroom. Needless to say, my mom and I spent many afternoons in the ER due to all of my bladder infections that year. Eventually, my mother began to realize that I was clearly suffering from a phobia so she took me to a therapist to try to help cure me. This was probably one of the worst experiences I’ve ever had in my entire life. At the time, I thought my therapist was torturing me, but now I understand I was undergoing exposure therapy. The therapist would lock me in a bathroom and insist that I do the Bloody Mary ritual, otherwise I couldn’t leave the bathroom. Of course, it was a gradual process in which she would first summon Bloody Mary without me and I would stand by watching, then she would do it with me in the bathroom with the lights on, then she would do it with me in the bathroom with the lights off, etc. You get the point. When it came to me doing Bloody Mary on my own in the bathroom, I remember feeling like I was going to die. Like legitimately pass away. My palms were sweaty, my legs felt paralyzed and my heart was beating so loudly, I couldn’t hear anything that was going on around me. I just wanted to get out of that bathroom so damn badly. I remember looking up in the mirror and seeing my reflection back at me. My frizzy hair and swollen eyes looked back at me and they said Bloody Mary three times in a row. I was shocked at the fact that I was actually able to get over my fear and do the Bloody Mary ritual on my own. Let’s just say that when the next school day rolled around and it was time to go to the bathroom to do Bloody Mary, I wasn’t the one in the corner.

Step two

In the 4^th grade, I was petrified of the ghost Bloody Mary. If you are fortunate enough to not have had your childhood destroyed by this demon, allow me to further explain. Bloody Mary was a ghost that you could summon by standing in a dark room with lit candles and repeating “Bloody Mary” three times in a row. By doing so, the demon was going to rush out of the mirror and kill you. Awesome, no? Every time my classmate would go to the bathroom to summon Bloody Mary, I would be standing fearfully in the corner with my eyes closed, praying that the demon wouldn’t come out. My fear got so intense that I wouldn’t be able to go to the bathroom or look into a mirror. I remember holding in my pee for hours at a time because I was too scared to go to the bathroom. Needless to say, my mom and I spent countless afternoons in the ER due to many bladder infections that year. Eventually, I went to therapy in order to cure my phobia. After a couple of exposure therapy sessions, it was time for me to summon Bloody Mary on my own. With sweaty palms and a racing heart, I remember looking up in the mirror and seeing my frizzy hair and swollen eyes looking back at me saying Bloody Mary three times in a row. I survived. Let’s just say that when the next school day rolled around and it was time to go to the bathroom to summon Bloody Mary, I wasn’t the one in the corner.

Step three

In grade 4, I was deeply afraid of Bloody Mary – the straggly black-haired demon that would appear if summoned. If you dared to summon the ghost, you had to stand in a dark room with lit candles and repeat her name three times in a row. She was so scary, she could make your heart stop. In the elementary school bathroom, kids would squirm into the bathroom and sacrifice themselves by calling out to the demon, Bloody Mary. I would stand in the back corner, shaking in my boots, hoping Bloody Mary wouldn’t appear. Just the thought of Bloody Mary gave me the heebie-jeebies and made my blood turn cold. A simple task such as using the restroom or seeing my own reflection in the mirror would scare the living daylights out of me. Therefore, my mother decided it was time I seek professional help in order to cure my fear so that I could go back to living a normal life. My therapist would enclose me in a dark cold room and insisted that I summon Bloody Mary as a form of exposure therapy. I would wriggle into the daunting room with my eyes closed and racing heart. It was a dicey situation and I was playing with fire. I took my life into my own hands and thankfully, I was spared. Bloody Mary didn’t appear out of the mirror after I was forced to summon her. I was finally able to breathe and it felt as though a big weight was lifted off my shoulders. I opened the door and felt as cool as I cucumber because I survived to see another day. The next time I was at school, I waltzed into the bathroom on cloud nine and called out to Bloody Mary. That ghost was not going to stop me from living my life anymore.