- You’re Your Own Worst Enemy: Here’s Why
- Sick of Standing in the Way of your Future Successes? Let’s Fix that
- Why we Self-Sabotage (and how to stop!)
- Self-Sabotage: You May Feel in too Deep but It’s Not Too Late to Pull Yourself Out
- Houston, We Have a Problem (spoiler alert: it’s YOU!)
- Quit Bursting Your Own Bubble
- The Downward Spiral of Self-Blame and Self-Sabotage (and How to Pull Yourself Out of it)
- From Self-Blame to Self-Discovery
- You Shot Yourself in the Foot. Now What?
- No Control? No Problem. Okay, Maybe a Slight Problem.
Author: rachelcohen2
Weekly Writing Challenge #4
Part one: Rewrite your ending
What I tried doing for this ending:
- Think back to your investigative question. Did you get an answer? Or did you find out something unexpected?
- Work on a punchy, killer last line.
I, along with many of you, are probably now wondering “will I continue to self-sabotage?”. Knowing what I know now, I would like to say that it will happen less often. But I’d be naïve to say I’ll never do it again. The thing that’s so frustrating about self-sabotage is that often, I do it without even noticing it. I’ll leave my house without a jacket in February with little to no awareness of the negative outcomes it will have on my future self. So, will I screw myself over again? Yes. But will I work on ways to avoid doing it so often? Yes. And most importantly, will I wear a jacket next time when it’s 0 degrees Celsius mid-winter? Abso-fucking-lutely.
Part two: Rethink structure
- Why do we self-sabotage?
- Desire to gain control
- Anecdote: friend broke up with her boyfriend because she was worried he would dump her
- Individuals don’t get enough sleep
- Solutions: carpe diem + stop blaming ourselves for situations which are out of our control
Writing Challenge #3
Paragraph 1: Revise a body paragraph
In your comments, you said this paragraph was slightly repetitive. So, I took out the elements which I found to be too repetitive but kept in my new ideas and reflections.
In all seriousness though, this question has been haunting me. I believe the answer comes back to the same explanation: self-sabotage. I know I should be sleeping more. I know I’ll hate myself the next morning for clicking “play next episode” on my Netflix account at 2AM… but I do it anyways. It’s almost as if I can’t help myself. It feels like a subconscious effort. And quite frankly, I’m sick of it. So, have no fear, I’ve discovered some ways to be more aware of our self-sabotaging behaviours as well as some ways to potentially stop them all together.
Paragraph 2: Lead rewrite
“Bye mom! I’m gonna go to Sarah’s house now”
“Woah woah wait up honey. It’s 0 degrees you should probably wear a jacket. You don’t want to catch a cold”
I open the door and a gust of wind nearly knocks me over. How rude to come in with no invitation.
“Don’t worry mom. I’ll be fine. It’s not too bad out there”
You can all probably guess what happened to me the next morning. A very rude awakening: a nose running faster than Usain Bolt, a throat so dry the Sahara desert is envious and a headache so strong that Advil Extra Strength is helpless. I caught a cold from the cold. How ironic. I’m so annoyed too because wearing a jacket is so simple. Now I know what you’re probably thinking: are you really sure you got sick from being outside with no jacket? The answer is no. I’m not sure because I’m not a doctor. I’m a stupid angsty teen who decided not to wear a jacket in February. My mom warned me. Actually, she couldn’t have made herself clearer. And yet, I decided “jackets weren’t for me” and I screwed myself over. Then, to make matters worse, I beat myself up for an entire week for making that decision. It’s self-deprecation at its finest. I screw myself over and then blame myself for it. Classic Rachel move. I’d like to think I’m a relatively smart girl with the basic knowledge that going outside during the winter = wear a jacket. So why didn’t I wear one?
I also tried to restructure my original lead. I kept the exact same sentences but I just changed the order:
My phone vibrates. A text from my friend, Melissa: “had an amazing time last night! So happy you decided to come out with us!”. My ringing ears and uncontrollable yawns suggest that maybe going out wasn’t one of my brightest ideas. With a foggy haze and a pounding headache, I’m seated at my desk studying my entire Biology course for my final tomorrow. I read my notes “the boraifhn is the axlcmfn organ in the human body due to its fjxncbfh”. I seek my only friend during this study session – coffee. I take a big gulp, hoping the caffeine can rejuvenate me. It’s tepid and has far too much cream for my liking but hey! It’s coffee and it’s 2AM. A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do. 100 pages left to memorize. There’s no way I pass this test. I knew I had this major biology test to study for and going out would only lead to future stress. I’m a smart girl. So why did I do it?
I think I really love the new lead I wrote but it’s a little too long and I’m not sure which parts should be cut. I think I like this new lead more but that could just be because I’ve read my older one so many times that maybe I’m psyching myself out. Let me know what you think! 🙂
Weekly Writing Challenge #2
Researcher Joel Anderson poses an important question: “why is it that people fail to do what they know is good for them to do?”. Often individuals procrastinate undesirable tasks (such as doing homework), but sleep is usually desirable since it makes us feel good. Therefore, why do we put it off if we know it results in negative consequences? An article by David M. Schnyer, Dasa Zeithamova, and Victoria Williams titled “Decision-Making Under Conditions of Sleep Deprivation: Cognitive and Neural Consequences” discovers that sleep deprivation inhibits individuals from making proper integrative decisions (40). That discovery is totally accurate and I can say that with pure confidence because I’ve experienced it. On days in which I get more sleep, I’m more clear-headed and more able to make conscious and competent decisions. So, if I’m being honest here, I’m not totally sure how to answer Anderson’s question. Because if I knew, I wouldn’t be sitting here working on this feature story at 3AM. In all seriousness though, his question has been haunting me. I love sleep. I’m like a sloth. If it were up to me, I would sleep all hours of the day. So why do I resort to staying up all night and depriving myself of something I love? If you asked me, it all comes back to the same explanation: self-sabotage. I know I should sleep. I know I’ll hate myself the next morning for clicking “play next episode” on my Netflix account at 2AM… but I do it anyways. It’s almost as if I can’t help myself. It almost feels like a subconscious effort. By binge-watching TV at 3AM, I’m not actively thinking “I’m watching TV to make myself miserable and exhausted tomorrow”. It just happens. And quite frankly, I’m sick of it.
Works Cited
Friedman, Lauren F. “This Is Why You Stay Awake All Night When You Know You Need To Sleep.”Business Insider,18 June 2014.
Schnyer, David M., et al. “Decision-Making Under Conditions of Sleep Deprivation: Cognitive and Neural Consequences.” Military Psychology (Taylor & Francis Ltd), vol. 21, Jan. 2009, pp. 36–45. EBSCOhost, doi:10.1080/08995600802554607.
Weekly Writing Challenge #1
Paragraph 1: Imagery
I’m sure we’ve all heard the phrase, “sleep is for the weak”. I always found it funny because those who actually believe it are probably the most sleep deprived, cranky and unmotivated people to exist. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention demonstrates that 70% of high school students don’t get enough sleep. At the top of my head, I can’t think of one friend who succeeds in getting 8-10 hours of sleep every night. On a good night, I’ll get 9 hours of sleep and I feel like a new woman. I’m like Sleeping Beauty who just awoke from her slumber to find her prince hovering over her. I’ll wake up feeling rested. A pounding headache? Doesn’t exist. Irritable mood for no reason? Nope. Then I’ll proceed to go downstairs and make myself a hot coffee. Not because I need it, but because I want it. I’ll grip onto the warm mug and sip the juice of joy. Next, I’ll make myself a delicious breakfast. The smell of eggs cooking on the stove and toast burning in the toaster – a gourmet meal made by yours truly. I’ll then proceed to eat it in my room while I get started on completing any homework or assignments I have for that day. Now, it may seem like that morning routine is taken from a Disney fairy tale, but I swear some people are actually able to wake up feeling rejuvenated and are productive with their lives! I know, what a concept.
Paragraph 2: A first hand scene
In the room hangs abstract art. I look at the drawings to see nothing and everything all at once. I sink into the cushions on the faux-leather couch. My psychologist tells me to close my eyes. She begins telling me to focus on my breath, to be present in this moment. Her voice eventually fades and I’m left alone with my body floating in time and space. I hear the clock ticking. I feel my shoulders loosening. I see darkness with a hint of light peering through my closed eye lids. I taste the tuna I had for lunch. I open my eyes to see my psychologist looking back at me. I feel good. I feel powerful. I am clear-headed. All the anxieties and overwhelming thoughts melt away. I stand up from the couch and feel weightless, like a bag floating in the air being carried by the wind. I’m ready to take on the day.
March 3: Rhetorical Strategies
Exercise 2:
- Imagine going to school everyday from 8-4 and then going straight to work from 4-7 and then being nagged by your mother for taking a break by watching an hour of TV when you get home
- As a college student I feel constant stress and I feel as though I never have enough time to get my work done
- Sometimes as children we take advantage of having so much free time that when we get to college, we have difficulty managing our school work with other events. It could make us seem lazy but maybe we just weren’t adequately prepared to juggle everything at once.
In Class Exercise February 20
Last year I went out for a night of drinking and fun (or so I thought) to celebrate my friend’s 18th birthday.
a. “fun” has the meaning I intended for it to have in this writing piece but perhaps it is too basic or broad
2. a. lively, dynamic, wild, chipper, spirited
Last year I went out of a spirited/wild night of drinking (or so I thought) to celebrate my friend’s 18th birthday
February 18 Class Exercise
I knew I had this major biology test to study for and that if I went out, I would need to cram all my studying in one night.
I have to study for my test otherwise I will be stressed
a. I have to study for my Biology test tonight otherwise I will be very stressed
b. I have to study for my major Biology test tonight otherwise I will be very stressed
c. I have to study for my Biology test tonight otherwise I will be stressed and very overwhelmed
d. I have to study for my test I will be stressed
e. I study for my test otherwise I will be stressed
f. Study
g. Study, stress
h. Study = a state of contemplation. It doesn’t fully embody the definition I had in mind but I know studying is a form of contemplation. Synonyms = learn, investigate
i. I have to study for my test otherwise I will be stressed because I will fail if I don’t study
j. I have to study for my test otherwise I will be stressed since I want to have a good grade on the test in order to get into the university I want to apply into
k.
Voice Writing Activity
Step one
A vivid memory I had from my childhood was when I had a major fear of ghosts. I can’t remember exactly how old I was – probably about 10 years old. I was petrified of the Bloody Mary ghost. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you’re lucky. But this story won’t really make sense if you don’t know who Bloody Mary is. Basically, Bloody Mary was a ghost that you could summon (if you were brave enough of course). Summoning Bloody Mary involves staring at a mirror and saying Bloody Mary three times in a row. Technically, you should be in a dark room with candles lit, but we didn’t have these luxuries in my elementary school bathroom. In school, all the cool kids would go to the bathroom and summon Bloody Mary. I would join them (of course) because I didn’t want to seem like a loser… but you better believe that I would stand in the back corner with my eyes closed and my ears blocked every time a brave 10-year-old stepped up to the mirror and said “Bloody Mary”. This fear got so bad, I nearly had a heart attack anytime I had to go to the bathroom or anytime I saw a mirror. I remember holding in my pee for hours at a time because I was too scared to go to the bathroom. Needless to say, my mom and I spent many afternoons in the ER due to all of my bladder infections that year. Eventually, my mother began to realize that I was clearly suffering from a phobia so she took me to a therapist to try to help cure me. This was probably one of the worst experiences I’ve ever had in my entire life. At the time, I thought my therapist was torturing me, but now I understand I was undergoing exposure therapy. The therapist would lock me in a bathroom and insist that I do the Bloody Mary ritual, otherwise I couldn’t leave the bathroom. Of course, it was a gradual process in which she would first summon Bloody Mary without me and I would stand by watching, then she would do it with me in the bathroom with the lights on, then she would do it with me in the bathroom with the lights off, etc. You get the point. When it came to me doing Bloody Mary on my own in the bathroom, I remember feeling like I was going to die. Like legitimately pass away. My palms were sweaty, my legs felt paralyzed and my heart was beating so loudly, I couldn’t hear anything that was going on around me. I just wanted to get out of that bathroom so damn badly. I remember looking up in the mirror and seeing my reflection back at me. My frizzy hair and swollen eyes looked back at me and they said Bloody Mary three times in a row. I was shocked at the fact that I was actually able to get over my fear and do the Bloody Mary ritual on my own. Let’s just say that when the next school day rolled around and it was time to go to the bathroom to do Bloody Mary, I wasn’t the one in the corner.
Step two
In the 4th grade, I was petrified of the ghost Bloody Mary. If you are fortunate enough to not have had your childhood destroyed by this demon, allow me to further explain. Bloody Mary was a ghost that you could summon by standing in a dark room with lit candles and repeating “Bloody Mary” three times in a row. By doing so, the demon was going to rush out of the mirror and kill you. Awesome, no? Every time my classmate would go to the bathroom to summon Bloody Mary, I would be standing fearfully in the corner with my eyes closed, praying that the demon wouldn’t come out. My fear got so intense that I wouldn’t be able to go to the bathroom or look into a mirror. I remember holding in my pee for hours at a time because I was too scared to go to the bathroom. Needless to say, my mom and I spent countless afternoons in the ER due to many bladder infections that year. Eventually, I went to therapy in order to cure my phobia. After a couple of exposure therapy sessions, it was time for me to summon Bloody Mary on my own. With sweaty palms and a racing heart, I remember looking up in the mirror and seeing my frizzy hair and swollen eyes looking back at me saying Bloody Mary three times in a row. I survived. Let’s just say that when the next school day rolled around and it was time to go to the bathroom to summon Bloody Mary, I wasn’t the one in the corner.
Step three
In grade 4, I was deeply afraid of Bloody Mary – the straggly black-haired demon that would appear if summoned. If you dared to summon the ghost, you had to stand in a dark room with lit candles and repeat her name three times in a row. She was so scary, she could make your heart stop. In the elementary school bathroom, kids would squirm into the bathroom and sacrifice themselves by calling out to the demon, Bloody Mary. I would stand in the back corner, shaking in my boots, hoping Bloody Mary wouldn’t appear. Just the thought of Bloody Mary gave me the heebie-jeebies and made my blood turn cold. A simple task such as using the restroom or seeing my own reflection in the mirror would scare the living daylights out of me. Therefore, my mother decided it was time I seek professional help in order to cure my fear so that I could go back to living a normal life. My therapist would enclose me in a dark cold room and insisted that I summon Bloody Mary as a form of exposure therapy. I would wriggle into the daunting room with my eyes closed and racing heart. It was a dicey situation and I was playing with fire. I took my life into my own hands and thankfully, I was spared. Bloody Mary didn’t appear out of the mirror after I was forced to summon her. I was finally able to breathe and it felt as though a big weight was lifted off my shoulders. I opened the door and felt as cool as I cucumber because I survived to see another day. The next time I was at school, I waltzed into the bathroom on cloud nine and called out to Bloody Mary. That ghost was not going to stop me from living my life anymore.
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